Highways, Biways, & Intersections In Between

If you tell me to stay in my lane, most likely we will not get along. I am not the status quo. Which is probably why I have adopted a lot of the behaviors that I have over the years. I may be easy to get along with, but I am not a pushover. When it comes to being seen as a person of value or just another warm body as a place holder, I am happily content on not being in your orbit. Why should I demean myself in order to live up to someone else's standards? Telling me nothing is just as insane as dictating how high I can climb in order to achieve the things that I want to achieve. 

But when it comes to men and sexual attraction, I fail miserably.

I have had my fair share of take care and goodbyes, but the audacity that comes from men who are out there, constantly looking for cookie cutter versions of themselves, is astounding. I am stuck trying to please parts a community that only wants to see muscles, and thinness, and money, and huge cocks, and youth. I feel like I have been coming up on the same road blocks that I faced when I first came out. 

"So, get out there and meet like minded people" is the kind of thing that people say to me when they know that certain expectations are always going to be put in place in order to keep guys like me from meeting a man that I would be willing to share my life with. And budda forbid that I call someone out on their toxic behavior, because then I am seen as a hateful cunt. Complaining doesn't change the outcome anymore than working to change it. Either way, I am stuck with words and a comprehensive understanding that I have an opinion that goes unnoticed because I am unapproachable. 

Wouldn't it just be easier if we could remove that part in our brains and fill it with something useful. I crave love and attention as much as the next person, but at what cost? If I stay in my line, and do as I am told, then what am I really accomplishing?