Calgon, take me away.

 What if all the roads that I have travelled have led me to where I am only to die? I think about this often. I know that I can make changes in my life. I know that I can turn things around for the better in order to extend my lifespan. What if it is not enough? What if I am just capable of the bare minimum and nothing more? See, part of me knows that I am capable of many, many things if only I applied myself. My body, however, responds in terms of aging. It hurts to stand up from laying down toward the ground. Walking has started hurting more and I feel it in my hips, thighs, knees, ankles, and feet. My hands and my fingers feel tight and sore. It's almost as if every joint on my body said "this is what you get!" Putting it all down to read and understand what it is that I have to do in order to feel better is part of the process. The other part is actually doing it. I am such a procrastinator. I know that it is going to hurt more to simply try. The opposite is not trying and having my body kill me due to inactivity. If only I had a billion dollars to fix it all.