Sacrificial Seeds

Sacrificial Seeds

Sarcastic

Save Room - John Legend

I have had the same thought on my mind for the last few days. Cock. It is always on my mind. One cock in particular has been on my mind for a while and I love picturing it in my head. I love playing with it in my mind. I love playing with it in real life, but in my mind so much more happens. It's a beautiful cock, it is very full and very plump. The owner of this cock has an incredible tool connected to his and the shaft of it is only the beginning. His plump juicy sack is more than a mouthful....awe...he's beautiful! I am purely infatuated with him. When he kisses me, his full lips are soft against mine. His eyes are glazed with the spirit of sensuality when I look into them. I love looking at his skin and touching it, and pressing it against my body. I am in lust with this man. That being said, I don't want him for a boyfriend or anything like that. I like to play with him and have fun with him. He's a nice guy and someone that I enjoy tasting every now and again. Selfish little bugger that I am...I feel like a damn vampire!

This infatuation is a gestation period for what I am really looking for in any case. Building friendships solely on a sexual basis is a start when it comes to relations between gay men. Some men make my pee-pee go boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. Some don't even get a rise out of it. Some make it throb like it will never stop. There is a complication between friendships and sexuality that comes up (literally) with most gay men. The complication or issue tends to center on the issue of love. In my opinion if fucking were just fucking, then there would be another emotion tied to it. There would be a chemical in the brain that could separate the act of fucking from its evil doppelganger making love. But the two feel so much the same that I can't imagine why doing either is hard to separate. But that's what we do. Gay men fuck, fall in love with the feeling, and fuck some more. Blah, blah, blah...I go off on a soap box sometimes... I have had some friendships in the past that I had only for the purpose of fucking. I haven't had friends like that in a very long time and I have always told myself that having friends like that was probably not a good idea. There is a trigger in my head that plays off this WASP'y prudent thing that I know is not really me. I also know that I am not that whorish fiend that degrades society either. My duality is complicated and uncompromising. I am sure, given the right set of circumstances, that I would be the king of my penis and I would be a stud to many men, many times. For now, I have issues and complications and a set of guidelines to redefine.

I challenged myself earlier today to set a realistic goal for getting out on the town and hunting down some prey. I want to get loosened up and writhing drunk. The type of men in Phoenix are pretty typical of pretty petty things. They require perfection and a big 10 inch. Silly faggots should learn that only imperfect men are alive in the really real world. In any case, I really would like to go out and dance! I want to find myself a really nice tall dark and handsome man who would like to come up on me and pulse to the beats of a Latin groove. It's all really uncomplicated when it comes to that. I can tell if I am going to be a good sexual partner with a man by how well he dances with me. If he does it very well then we are going to be amazing partners. If he tries to many funky things...he'll probably turn me off. And if he has no rhythm I am almost positive we won't be compatible in bed. I need someone who can move his hips with mine....grind his body into mine...create natural heat with me...ugh...I need a drink LOL. The short end of this is of course me getting mine. I want a piece of meat to play with and I am willing to satisfy the first (good looking) man that makes himself available.

I'll probably end up at home on the couch in front of the television again, eating pizza. Some friends of mine are going out of town this weekend and they asked if I could watch their house and their dogs for them. I figure it is a small price to pay for all of the things they have done for me since the break up. I'll need to figure out a way to leave the office and make my way home in a time early enough to pay a few bills and drive back to their place. Friday's can be so weird sometimes. I figure this, I am going no where soon and if I don't get out to the club this weekend, or if I don't find a good looking chocolate brown man to seduce, or if I don't get that cock that I so desire at least I'll be alive another day to recount my desperation LOL.

Peace!