Routines

 The sound of his alarm went off from the dresser across the room. Jason had made it a point to place the damn device there as a motivator to actually get out of bed instead of hitting snooze and rolling around until he felt like getting up and being active.

Right now he didn't give a fuck.

Annoyed, he tossed his legs over the side of the bed, walked across the room, picked up the alarm, switched off the noise and slammed the device on the dresser. He climbed into bed with his head against the pillow trying to clear his mind and focus. The medications made him groggy sometimes. They fucked with his processes. He used to be able to remember his dreams better.

"FUUUUCK." he sighed.

He tossed away the sheets and pulled on his sweats, socks and running shoes and made his way to the bathroom to splash some water on his face to help wake up. A quick jog would help start the day.

Christopher was already at the record shop. Jason checked the messages on his cell phone. He was still knee deep in the process of inventory from the night before. Jason did not like sleeping alone. The bed felt empty without his husband next to him. 

"How are you holding up?" the text sounded informal as he pressed send before heading out the door on his run around the neighborhood. The air had a bite to it this morning, with a just a hint of a chill breeze in the marine layer brought on by the fall weather. None of this distracted nor dissuaded Jason from the task at hand. He was determined to get back into shape. Since his surgery his "monker" had returned around his mid-section and seeing a bit of a gut in the mirror made him uncomfortable. He needed to get back to the form he was in so that he was able to maintain his clientele. 

As Metallica echoed in his head from his MP3 player, Jason recounted the tasks that lay before him for the day. He needed to take the kids shopping for Halloween costumes. The Mustang needed to have the brakes done. Swing by the grocery store to pick up essentials for the house. Head over to the main gym to check in with the office manager and make sure things are still functioning until his return. 

The therapist. Yes, the therapist was still a sore spot. He knew he had to see her. He would have to confide to her that he was smelling a strange woman's perfume coming from the air conditioning vents some days. He would also have to tell her that somedays he was almost certain that he heard voices of people coming from the attic, specifically speaking his name. He was almost certain these were things she would need to know. He hasn't been able to tell Chris. Not after that night. It would only worry him more and if he worried, it would somehow turn into a fight. No, the therapist would definitely provide some clarity. Maybe an adjustment to the medication.

He jogged around the corner to a familiar park that he used to cruise when he was younger. Gay men sometimes filtered in and out of the public bathroom looking for indiscriminate encounters. Jason felt the rush of anonymity and indiscretion that he always felt when stress made him act out. He ducked in and noticed a tiny blonde punk who made eye contact. Jason reached down his pants, pulled out his dick and motioned toward the dude "suck my dick".  And 5 minutes later Jason was back on the black tar pounding away toward home. 

A nice hot shower felt somewhat relaxing. The pills needed to be followed with some food and something sustainable. He looked in the mirror at his reflection. A bit of scruff on his face, some greying in the high and tight that he insisted on maintaining. He gave a bit of a flash of his teeth to make sure his veneers still sparkled and that his smile was just as it should be. Still, reflecting back at him, his "monker", "fuck, I gotta get that under control". He lamented. 

Jason made his way to the kitchen. Whipped up some egg whites, then a protein smoothie. Determined to make the best of the diet plan he set up. He pulled out his phone to check his messages.

"Almost done. Are you up?" replied Chris.

"Yes, Baby. I just finished my run. I am about to head out and get some things done." Jason hit reply. Then immediately followed with "I miss you. I love you."

"I miss and love you too, Bubba. I will see you in a little while." 

Jason gathered his thought and gathered his things and headed out the door to start the day anew.