Even Cowgirls Get The Blues

 The weather is changing rapidly and the cold is becoming ever more present in every nook and cranny that I try to find comfort. Honestly, I thought the Midwest would be a little more tolerable than what it has turned out to be. I find that people are just as disingenuous and fake here as they are in the Southwest.  They try to camouflage it behind Christian virtuosity and Midwest kindness, but it feels way to saccharin and artificial for my tastes. Locally, the inhabitants of many of the boroughs don't mind spending hours a day at work, or in their cars on highways or two lane roads that seem to go nowhere when it is time to be at home, relaxing for the day/night. There are always a few interesting behaviors happening all at the same time as well. Everyone takes the weekend to do the things that they should do during the week. Need groceries, head out on Sunday like everyone else. Want to see a new movie, no problem, everyone is at the local movie theater waiting to watch the same thing that you want to watch. Beware though, those highways and roadways are really backed up. And I hope that you are not hungry. Otherwise, you will have only a handful of the same things to choose from as there are not very many options to go around with the locals. The locals... they love their barbeque pulled pork sandwiches and crappy chips. Anyway, here we are....

I had to think about it. I have had to think about it a lot over the last few weeks/months. This is not the lifestyle that I crave, nor enjoy. Everything is too family-centric and shadowed by conservative ideologies that make it hard for me to thrive. I know that in my head I am smarter than I seem and it sucks that I cannot see the genius of the Midwest for what it could be. I love the greenery during the spring and summer, but I hate the bugs. I love the change in seasons from summer to fall, but the inevitable snow-down that follows is too great. And the chances that I have to give, for something or somewhere that I do not find remotely interesting, are small considering that there is a world of possibilities outside of my current scope of vision. I just have to point my compass in the right direction and be okay without security and safety nets. Isn't that what growing is about anyway, taking risks until you find your habitable zone? Any further east and I will be engulfed by the arctic chill that plagues the Northern Atlantic states. Any further south and I would not survive the religious grid iron that plagues the Bible Belt. Which leads me to a conclusion that I have always known, I am meant to be near the Pacific and somewhere on the West coast.