Late Night Double Feature

Late Night Double Feature
Silly
Don't Dream It, Be It - Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack

I am in the throws of masochism. My addiction to the internet is keeping me from actually leaving my bedroom some days. I know, I know....all I have to do is turn it off and walk away from it. I'm sure I could find another source of entertainment however the world of internet porn and cyber chat rooms are always closer at hand than actual physical contact or interaction with another human being. Maybe I am a social reject. I find that I have very little in common with others and my mind seems to wander when others engage in conversation. It's not like I don't have anything of value to contribute to a conversation, but the mind of 31 year old man with limited professional abilities tends to have little or nothing substantial to add to career forums. It's passive aggressive...some days I am interesting...some days I'm not.

I have stories. Thankfully, I have a borage of stories. Many to enlighten and many to bring humor. My life is full of weirdness, social depravity, inept sexual encounters and mindless chatter. I'm one cigarette away from a lung transplant and a dirty martini away from another AA meeting. Life is fun and full of interesting prospects. Sadly money is required for most of the prospects that I am after and my friends are few and far between these days. I thought about placing an ad on Craigslist.com selling my services out to anyone with needs. I will clarify that by needs, I mean other than physical or sexual. I'm no whore and my ass is worth more than any man could ever pay. That said, I just need more money. "Mo money, mo money, mo money..." When that chump, fuckhead of an exboyfriend of mine left he took a good chunk of our income with him. I am living hand to mouth these days and no matter what I do to make it through I am always on the receiving end of a butt rape. Usually when I get fuct I enjoy it, but not so much these days.

In any case...my days lately are plagued with boredom. I hate having to live with someone. I hate the fact that I can't do anything with my friends. I hate politics and Russian roulette...I'm too smart to really hate anything, I'm just frustrated. Responsibility keeps me from fleeing to another locale. My heart keeps me from running to the arms of a former love. My mind gives me the clues to react and pursue my intentions, but reason pins my feet to the ground. I'm conflicted and hopeful, but mostly, I am done with being...tired of being...and fed up with being...I want to be something else.

Peace!