I'm sorry??? No, I don't do that.

I'm sorry??? No, I don't do that.
Goofy
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall


If the dog eat dog world doesn't slow down...there are going to be some problems! Ha-ha...I take it! I bend over like a bitch and take it up the arse because I am forced to follow this belief that if I work hard enough I will get what I deserve. Here's my theory...if you work hard....you're just working hard. I hardly have any time for play and when I do have free time, I am usually tired from working. Can anyone say double edged sword? Anyone???

I like seeing men in a different light. I held on to these ideals that all men were something that they were not. I see men in a light that makes them comparable to hyena's. They're viscous savage creatures that will tear apart the hopes and dreams of a person. Men are scum...I like fcuking them though. Until my sights are set on a prize fighter, I will keep playing there game. And like work, I will bend over and take it up the arse all for the sake of getting mine. It's a miserable existence...I know it's my own misery. Hey misery loves company and I haven't had any company in a while. I love the fact that men like to flirt with me online, but in reality they often find me intimidating because of my size and my stature. I'm such an over powering beast...and a beauty all rolled up into one!

I will give this much credit where credit is due. A man in Seattle has been chatting back and fourth with me online for a few weeks now. He's beautiful! I love how full his lips are! I love how shapely his hips are and I imagine holding on to them as he does what he does that makes gay sex so incredible. He had the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes that look adoringly at me through the computer screen whenever he sends me a picture. I want him in so many ways...and he has made it clear that he wants to please me in many different ways. I don't know what it is about the men in my town as opposed to the men in other states. What I have to offer is so great that I am willing to give it to anyone worthy to fight for it. Sadly, I live in a state where no one is willing to try. And it's not like I have dated all of the men in Arizona. So why is it that a man from out of state can see something in me and want what a man in the next zip code next to mine refuses to see. Why do men from all over different parts of the country want to be mine, make me happy, shower me with attention and give me everything and the men that live in my own state are assholes? I am sure I am over stating this a bit much, but in my years in Phoenix I have found that the men here have high expectations and they hardly ever compromise for anything less than perfection.

SO what do I believe from this man in Seattle? I dunno? I like the way his cock looks! I like thinking about him plunging it in to me in various scenario's. I enjoy the fact that this morning he sent me an email asking me how my day was starting off. He calls me handsome and I like that as well. He's a beautiful man and he thinks that I am handsome...go figure. Men in Phoenix usually run like Christians at a stoning when I say they look handsome or I think that they are hot. It has to be the whole..."Oh my God! Why are you talking to me? You don't have muscles and I don't remember seeing you on TV? You must be the help? Why don't you have a career and lots of money?"... virus that corrupts the minds of all gay men into thinking that a simple hello mean "take me I'm yours!"

Maybe someday I will be less cynical and I will be able to accept all of my gay brothers for their faults as much as they damn me for mine. GOD BLESS THE MAN WHO LOVES! I would like to spend a weekend wrapped up in this man from Seattle. I think he could be the dose of medicine I have needed for a few months now. He's saying all of the right things and he is making me forget that I ever had my heart broken by the Fuckhead! I am going to try to be a better man for the next few days.


Peace!