Imposter

If loneliness were a color,

Its clarity would reveal the sadness in my heart.
I don't know that I'd be visable?
I would inhabit the spaces in between people,
Exist like air,
Floating around like a physical ghost without a house to haunt!
And people would say "who was that guy" or "I never really knew him".
Deflections and reflections and objections and projections
Would only ever yield my imperfections
In solidarity, and unison, the sound of my soul crushing would echo the breaking of my heart.
Too old to be considered a wallflower and ugly enough to know.
Every human interaction, and subsequent rejection, are supposed to be life's lessons learned,
But it burns!
I walk around in hopes of finding common ground
Whilst folks read the sign hanging from around my neck that reads
"Attachment Unavailable"
They pass me by, without an ounce of comfort, to another more interesting destination
And my world is ever nonexistent as the day before.

I felt like a real man
a clone to your secret desires
I let my heart overshadow the connection we shared
And it turned on me
I gave my hand to a man who gave me pain
for a moment of normalcy,
my one desire
I became an imposter in a world full of mirrors
Hoping to be seen.