"What's wrong with..."

Laying next to a friend, enjoying a somber evening and listening to the hiss of a floor fan and the occassional creaks of his condo settling, I tried not to let my head get into the situation too much. He and his lover play around. I accepted that. On one occassion I had an innoccent morning of playtime with his other half. Last night was my first with him. I breathed and grunted and got through something that I did purely for selfish reasons, to get off. afterwards, we lay there in the dark spooning and I feel his hands on my shoulders and on my back as he does his best at a lovers stroke. All the while we both knew I was just there to take up space in his bed because his other half was out of town for work. His touch felt good, but I couldn't tell him that. The way he held me uncomplicated, comprimising as it was because he was envisioning his lover, made me feel like something. And then he asked "What's wrong with you, why are you still single?" It was a question that brought me back to reality and made me reply simply "I don't trust men." Rightly so, because regardless of his situation with his lover and their arrangements...I would never be comfortable with my man spooning in bed with someone else...and my statement about trusting another man is validated. So what is wrong with me? Nothing. I just want to be selfish. It's worked for everyone else.