Doing Time In The Pity Line

It creeps up in my head from time to time. These little feelings of inadequacy. Echoing....like a megaphone through my brain "YOU ARE SHIT! YOU ARE NOTHING!" I do my best to try to ignore it or to turn it into something else. I feel like everything in my head is going to mush. And I keep listening to the ringing and the voice in my head that keeps telling me to find a different way. Keep trying. Keep feeding me something that will keep me distracted from all things. like mortality and inevitability. Keep giving me a false sense of security. Do me right. Give me hope.

It creeps up in my head from time to time and it doesn't relax its grip on me. It's a constant paranoia and fear of being left completely to my own devices and without a safety net. I dull it, sometimes too much.