Cinderella's Coach and glass slipper.

I walked in to the new Coach store with uncertainty and trepidation. The sign on the outside had read “Coming Soon” for months and the day had finally come. I took a deep breath as I cautiously made my way under the bright Coach sign into the store. It was brilliant! The smell of leather handbags permeated my senses. Styles of all kinds adorned glass top tables and brightly lit wall shelves. It was beauty, it was elegance, and it was….it was like walking into a maximum security bank. Let me tell y’all…I admired items from afar. Along with the pizzazz of newly over-priced handbag store came bitchy customer service reps. Each one guarded a section of the store like a watchman. Sometimes three of them would be strategically placed in front of tables as if to imply “this area is strictly forbidden”. I could feel their eyes looming on me as I approached a section of bags. They seem to say to me “Please, do not touch the $300 Coach.” With sighs they would hover over me and expel their listless thoughts into my brain “That bag is worth more than you” “Don’t get your oily fingerprints all over that wallet” “This is Coach! Kneel before us and gaze at ITS wonder”! I felt so poor that I left the store almost as quickly as I had entered it. Lesson learned, I can window shop from the internet at home.
I found out this week that I also have this tiny pet peeve about women. Okay, so anyone who knows me knows that I am really big on shoes and underwear (but mostly on shoes). Anyway, I work with a woman, a doctor no less, and I noticed that she had on a really striking pair of Guess heals. They were strapless 5 inch heals, with leather binding and a shiny “G” buckle across the toe. These shoes were fierce and definitely not the kind of shoes that you would see on a doctor. Oh yeah, and she’s our very own foot doctor (go figure)! Anyway, I moved in close to get a look at her remarkable choice in shoes and I noticed something odd. Now, how odd can a nice pair of shoes be? Her to nails were painted a lovely color and her pedicure was appropriate for open toed heals. Her feet looked smooth and her arches were strong. However, her toes were hanging right over the edge of them. I thought “Oh God, you haven’t got a clue do you honey?” I guess she is smart enough to be a doctor, but not smart enough to buy a pair of shoes that fit her properly. I mentioned this to a girlfriend of mine and she thought that maybe her foot slid forward when she wore these shoes causing her toes to hang over. I figure, if they hang over, then they are too small. It looked like she was clawing on to her heals with her giant toes to maintain the image that had elegant taste. Damn Bigfoot!